KISStorian ranks KISS’s ‘unmasked’ studio albums

KISS_LickItUp-costumes2Helmets tight KISS Army …I sat and looked at the album covers, accessing the part of my brain that governs KISS related decisions to figure out which album I really wanted to listen to most, and 2nd most, and so on and so forth. A short blog piece on a Herculean task. Please forgive me.

LICK IT UP > back on the streets  …hey, hey have you read the news? this album is as good as Creatures of The Night and is the make-over that saved the KISS brand.

ASYLUM > alive n’ kickin’ …guh-guh, guh-guh, guh-guh, guh-guh get the message sugar: Asylum is Kulick/Carr KISS hitting their best 80’s stride.

ANIMALIZE > once bitten, twice shy …Stanley’s triumph in fret-frenzied St. Johns wood; had Simmons given a damn, or Vincent remained on-board, Animalize might have been as good as LIU.

REVENGE > cult of personality …KISS was cool again but I’de give the album higher marks were it not for Stanleys somewhat labored contributions under the rose w/ Ezrin.

HOT IN THE SHADE > these happy days are yours and mine …KISS lighten up to become almost human with “Forever” and a fun album.

CRAZY NIGHTS > desperate, but not serious …KISS buffed to 80’s money-shot oblivion by the grace of Nevison’s hand. 

CARNIVAL OF SOULS > return to sender …unmasked KISS fade to black with a grungy dirge.

 

 

 

 

UNMASKED gets better every time

Yup. As David St. Hubbins of Spinal Tap would say: “Check me on this…am I losing my fucking mind?” UNMASKED is way better than I remembered. Maybe’s it’s the high-end turn table and brand new Shure headphones that aided in this recent KISSTory lesson? In any event, some random observations and quips in no order….

Well, swear to God, it’s actually a cool mix. I give Vini Poncia long overdue high marks for how he transformed KISS on Unmasked,  They wanted pop, and they got it.  Each song gets a slightly different treatment one may only catch on a great system, or with the speakers spread far apart, or in headphones, or on an actual record. A band? If it doesn’t sound like a band, it’s because it wasn’t – in terms of dis-function, it may KISS’s White Album.

Guitars? There is not a bad solo on this record, they all just fit like a glove. Paul’s on “Shandi” is a crowning achievement and Ace’s are easy as it seems and right-on high points of each track, as is customary.  Really catchy and singable. In fact some of his most ‘pro’ sounding shit, period. I hear drop in’s here and there on guitar to carry small parts through that I believe are Paul as I really can’t imagine Ace sitting through the process to add color on such poppy stuff, at least not the stuff that he didn’t write.  Plus, Paul usually knows what he wants already. he must have done the solo on Gene’s “Your All That I Want” as well and, during its’ fade, Paul is stellar is not, dare I say better than Ace? Damn right dreamy. The rhythm guitars are also nicely distinct throughout the record . If you listen close, they are a tad more intricate also than the standard KISS fare ….you’ll see.

Drums? It’s the drum sound that sucks the sheer life out of the record, from the kick to the snare and on and on, save for “Shandi”. On the other cuts, the cheez-verb is a serious distraction. Not that Anton doesn’t play really well-crafted, tight drum patterns/parts on every tune, he does — but the snare sound alone is enough to make you want to look for one of Pete’s old Pearl snares in the vault. It’s second only to the disaster that was the drums (especially the snare) on Hotter Than Hell.  It’s a damn good Peter impersonation by Anton but, even as a kid when I first heard it, I was like “Wow Peter sounds really good on “Torpedo Girl” huh? Maybe he was trained by Krupa after all?

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The Spaceman? Unless your high and full of shit, it’s clear Ace’s contributions shine far above everything else on the album. While we don’t know the behind the scenes on Unmasked (yet), I find the quality of his cuts here fly in the face of everything Gene & Paul have said about the Spaceman’s lack of effort to bring in new material. The fact that Ace to get “Torpedo Girl” on the record speaks volumes to pecking order of the day. He played the bass and apparently all the guitars on his cuts and they are super-duper, no? Go back and listen – headphones.

Our Starchild? With “Shandi”, “Easy As It Seems” and “Is That You”, a cover, Paul’s tunes verge on minor pop revelations (at least in KISS terms) and are downright gutsy in retrospect, as if he literally was able to forget who he once was, and what they once were entirely. That shipped sailed when “I Was Made For Loving You” hit the airwaves in ’79.  If Dynasty was the KISSco record heard around the world, Unmasked was the full-departure that set the table for the next ill-conceived experiment; The Elder.

The Demonic Bat-Lizard? Gene’s whole thing gets a little fractured on the record but I still say “Naked City” is a semi-cinematic KISSterpiece in production, vibe and content. I feel it’s a way under-rated snapshot of the demon in reflective flux that highlights his versatility as a songwriter and singer.  At one point in the tune, one can even hear the influence of The Police in the bass line and quasi-reggae / faux-sca guitar tags. It’s very cool. In fact Gene’s baseline’s on the record are pretty out of the box and don’t sound like anyone else. Pretty fun.

Oh yeah, great back vocals all over this record and the keyboards? Take them out and you’ feel a sadness no KISStorian wants to feel, betcha.

It’s almost an arrogant effort and I still love it, better with every listen somehow. Perhaps for that very reason, because KISS does what KISS does and well, no matter what it is. No one seems to want to talk about or remembers anything about it leaving me to wonder if they planned to angle Unmasked‘s promotion over-seas from the albums inception? I’ll assume they knew they couldn’t risk a proper US Tour in support of the album but to everyone else, KISS were still legends. In America, they had sold out and Unmasked was the final stake in the their rock coffin, not The Elder.

I bought a Van Halen shirt right after I heard Unmasked year and wore it every other day.  Even though I bought The Elder too, only Creatures could have really brought me back as it did, setting the table for the kick in the ass that was Lick It Up was for all of us holding out hope.

Except for the bubble-gum finger snapper “What Makes The World Go Round” and the regrettable chorus of “Tomorrow”, both Starchild offerings, I don’t know if I would change a thing on Unmasked and even then, how could I? You wouldn’t either!

KISS UIC Chicago ’84

It was my first concert, KISS or otherwise — my Dad took us…  It was cold as hell and February 15th, 1984 @ the UIC Pavillion, KISS’s Chicago home away from home in the 80’s it seemed.  Man, I had never even smelt weed at the time and I think I must have gotten a contact high because, without telling anyone, end of show, during the encore break, I just jumped the wall to the main floor and wound up front row, in the fray with the Army!  It was trippy, time slowed down a bit there ….at one point Vinnie Vincent mouthed “I love you” to me (or someone near me) and threw a pick our way and it fluttered just outta reach through a smoky haze thick with baptismal rock mayhem. I was hooked on rock & roll and the return of Kiss!  The whole ride home I couldn’t shut up  ….my friends, which include today a famous Historical writer and Comedian / Movie Star were less enamored with the experience. One had cotton stuck in his ears that my mom had to remove with tweezers when we got home. My Dad claimed his ears took three days to recover fully. This was the article that I believe appeared in the Chicago Tribune the week of the show. kiss-liu-chicago

LIU Chicago

KISStorian’s top ten GENE SIMMONS deep cuts

KISS Nation should demand the boyz seal these ten Gene master strokes up immediately in a time-capsule. I cannot put them in any order of import; no mere mortal could possibly extrapolate such calculations (not safely anyway).

WAR MACHINE – Creatures of The Night This may have in fact have been recorded “On The 8th Day” because it is freakin’ god-like rock. The intro guitar riff is a couple of light years ahead of its time; hard to believe songsmith Bryan Adams could have had anything to do with the song, but he did. Gene’s growl says get the bleep out of my way or get run over by the biggest drums on earth, ever (thanks Eric Carr) and stands as a testament to Gene’s mastering of the ‘monster plod’. When he sings “draw the battle lines” it’s so evil, so infectious, that I literally wish to rule the world briefly. Terrifying. The gut-check guitars in the verse and the sheer space allowed for the drums to resonate ’till the next A-chord bruises another rib is downright primal. If “War Machine” doesn’t get your blood boiling you probably have never ‘rocked’ anyway. While we’re at it, it bears mentioning that there isn’t a bad track on Creatures; get it.

ALMOST HUMAN – Love Gun – Let me count the ways it’s special: the grabber bass tone, the poppin’ bass breaks, Peter Criss’s jungle groove, Ace Frehley’s Hendrix-inspired guitar solo, Gene’s all-holds-barred vocal musings, lyrics like “the moon is out I think I’m gonna change”. It  screams ‘The Demon’ and yet has an avant-garde thing about it that few Kiss songs do. “Almost Human” added to the mystery of KISS in ’77, showcasing Gene’s knack for expanding the KISS superhero brand vision.  Gene meets Zappa compliments of legendary producer Eddie Kramer.

GOIN’ BLIND – Hotter Than Hell Of the early Gene songs this is by far the darkest offering, in both lyrical content and musical tone, though “Watchin’ You” (off the same record) comes as a close second. When I was a kid, I couldn’t listen to “Goin’ Blind” because it troubled me, as it should have: it’s about a 93-year-old man in love with a 16-year-old. No question, it has a palpable desperation about it. The stark imagery, slowly developing minor chord melody, grungy mix and Gene’s straining lead vocal (“BEEE_EEEEEEE”) make for a heady, gut wrenching brew that exposes Gene’s British Invasion bug.  To me, this is the song that qualifies Gene as an artist to be reckoned with. It’s all too wonderful; maybe the darkest ballad of all time!!  Ace’s solo work throughout the track alone make “Goin Blind” a top ten Kiss song in this rock soldiers book. Yes, it’s Gene the bohemian artist.

ANIMAL – Sonic Boom  Okay, I know, it’s not ‘Klassic KISS’  but you coulda fooled me, or anyone who cares. It’s a ruthless mother of tune that recalls Gene at his very finest, declaring independence and little remorse for his prey – probably the best tune he’s written in 20 years. It just sounds so damn urgent one has to wonder what buttons Paul Stanley must have pushed to awaken the Demon’s ire. Too bad he couldn’t have mustered something like this up for Animalize; the album might have been even a bigger success for the boyz. How does a 60-year-old man write a rock riff this cool and have it not sound like anything else? The “Almost Human” refrain in the break is a real nice touch and Tommy Thayer lays down the law on arguably his best lead on the bands most recent opus. Conviction? Guilty as charged.

MAN OF A THOUSAND FACES – Gene Simmons When KISS ruled the world the gods decreed there be four solo Kiss albums, and so it was. Gene’s ego was approaching supernova at the time so it was probably for the best, and maybe why “Man Of 1.000 Faces” was so perfect then and is so perfect now. It’s like a personal Gene Simmons brand statement / warning of things to come, and it’s a great song that took some guts. The first-person revelations and  horn arrangements in the verses roar into an anthemic Beatles-inspired chorus that sounds more like a Broadway encore than a KISS song. It really shows Gene’s ability to tell a story and, in this case, an apparently spot on autobiographical one that paints Gene as a new hero to root for.

NAKED CITY – Unmasked – Okay, the record leaves a lot of folks with a poppy “what happened to KISS” taste in their mouths but it is, in hindsight, a pretty good record, largely due to the three Ace tunes on it. For some reason though, “Naked City” always felt strangely ultra-sincere to me in relation to the rest of it. So many departures on it including Gene’s falsetto and a quasi-reggae groove guitar line that came off like an entirely new KISS branching out. And, for all its cliche imagery, somehow Gene is able to sell us on the bleak reality of the ‘naked city’. With Kiss waning in popularity in America at the time, perhaps in some detached mercenary sort of way the song was about the fact Gene knew the band may be left for dead stateside. Was it all over?  Gene even asks the question in the veiled lyric “Is there no tomorrow?”

LARGER THAN LIFE – Alive II– LTL is just that, KISS at their 70’s zenith, in a position to audaciously release their second double-live record in just three years! But it gets better; side four included some new material that made it a ‘must have’ (like all KISS). The best Gene cut on it is “Larger Than Life”. Gene’s voice is flat-out menacing and the Bonham-esque groove Peter Criss lays down makes for one of the very best rock moments in KISSstory. I would say it’s easily in any true believers’ top ten as far as studio recordings go ‘cuz there are so many cool things exploding in your face. So dry. So crisp. So tight. So raw. So Gene. I hear a cool reworking of The Who’s “The Seeker” riff with heavier guitars, a Beatles shock end-of-chorus turn-around and one of the best snare-flamm, bass-drum breaks on any rock song, ever. “Da-Boom, Da-Boom, Da-Boom, Da-Boom DA DA!!!” No one sounds or even thinks like Gene, no one ever will and this one proves it.  What you have in LTL is signature, A1 Simmons, basking not so sheepishly in the glow of KISS’s 70’s supremacy. It’s nothing short of a rock & roll masterpiece.

TWO TIMER – Dressed To Kill – Dressed To Kill is always overlooked when folks talk about the early stuff but it is, if a little short in length, a good rockin’ time. Funny though that Gene should be the one calling the kettle black but that’s exactly what we get on this rrotsy rocker. Juxtapose this with the sentiments on “Ladies In Waiting” on the same record and you have Gene’s split personality. His walking bass line shows he listened closely as young player and learned his lessons well. “Two Timer” is steeped in old school song craftiness and is the kind of thing that you could hear coming from other bands which, lets face it, you can’t say for many Gene songs. Plus, vocally he pulls off a Louis Armstrong-like richness with so much personality and believability that one has to say aloud “Geno!” The lyrics are fun too because, for the first time, Gene’s on the losing end complaining “she tells me she’s high fashion, she thinks she looks divine, and  that’s what I keep telling her, I tell her all the time” lol..  As the song fades, Gene raps “that’s the truth baby you’re a….”, in what sounds to me like a nod to the hip vocal stylings of Hendrix in songs like “Cross Town Traffic” and “Foxy Lady”.

WAITING FOR THE MORNING LIGHT – A**hole –  Everyone tends to slag Gene’s solo efforts, inside the band and even in the KISS Army ranks; I don’t get why. Gene seems to have fun with them, taking chances more often than not and touching on genres no one would think Gene would have any interest in. Who knows, this song may be closer to the real Gene Simmons than anything else, especially if you are an aficionado of his early demos. In any event, it’s one of the very few sweet sentiments expressed anywhere by him and offers a glimpse of the lighter side of his ‘singer/songwriter’ upbringing.

******* Pick one – Lick It Up – LIU is a guilty pleasure on a lot of levels but, album title aside, it’s a balls to the wall rock record that declared KISS alive and well in 1983 and may have been the best hard rock record of the year. Still sounds fresh to me, although Paul sometime poo-poos the album for some reason. Simply put, it represents Gene’s best 80’s/ sans make-up outing, bar none. Young & Wasted”, “On The 8th Dy”, “Fits Like A Glove”, “Not For The Innocent”, “Dance All Over Your Face” – sweet Jesus, it’s a Gene-a-thon that finds the freshly scrubbed Simmons lashing out in anger, fit to be tied and chomping at the bit. Makes one wonder what happened between LIU and Animalize to sour his enthusiasm because if you don’t have LIU (and Creatures of The Night for that matter), you are quite truly in the dark on the sheer magnitude of KISS’s scope. For example, “Young & Wasted” is KISS doing metal better than the real metal bands they had been forced to compete with to stay afloat. With the unmasking as a backdrop to the release, Gene’s tracks on LIU are an essential heaping helping of KISStory. “Not For Innocent”,”Fits Like A Glove”, and “Dance All Over Your Face” sound the charge for a new ‘unholy’ KISS looking for your daughter, reminding the listeners that Gene was back on the hunt while “On The 8th Day” defined KISS’ mission for the first time in biblical terms as the band soldiered on “through the heart of a brave new world”. Although the Dynasty tour was dubbed “The Return of KISS”, it was Lick It Up that saved the band’s ass and shows Simmons to be one of the heaviest musicians of all-time.