KISS End of The Road Tour ‘one toke over the line’

Letter to the ‘Boyz’:

Guys, hey, sorry about this. You gotta be high if you think what’s being hailed by some as ‘Fake KISS 2019’ is going to sell tickets stateside. Enuffs been said already about why by everyone else in KISSdom, instead I offer here my heartfelt thoughts on possible solutions in hopes I can do something to make THE END OF THE ROAD less bumpy and something us KISS fans can be super amped about.

1 > HIRE BACKGROUND SINGERS / MUSICIANS FOR THE TOUR: Come clean, shoot us straight, like the Rolling Stones ultimately decided to do. You wanna sound great? Add some other musicians to help you deliver the goods! Give each tune the treatment it needs, try and deliver the record version. Add a tambourine!? Get a choir from each city to sing on “Great Expectations”? That kinda shit!

2 > HIRE ACE TO OPEN UP: Even if he’s said he won’t open, you and I know that’s bullshit so please figure out what it will take. Rather than giving him an option to ‘appear’ as all your press statements indicate you’ll do, notably the comment that (paraphrasing you Paul) ‘If they aren’t there, it’s not because they weren’t invited’. Gimme a break, not too cool. Just do it, for us, for KISStory! 

3 >  FIGURE OUT A FALL BACK POSITION: With the way ticket sales are going, I’ll be shocked if you guys aren’t already considering options here because, in my opinion, this should have been a BIG CITIES ONLY TOUR stateside with options for a 2nd (or 3rd date) in each market, at least initially anyway. Like how you would have done the DYNASTY TOUR with the benefit of hindsight, though I understand your hands may have been tied on that call this time around.  Reality aside, in a perfect world, I’d seriously consider finding a way to CANCEL ANY SOFT TICKET SALES DATES WITH ‘VIP REFUNDS’ as it were and start adding THE PERFECT LOCAL ACT / LUMINARY IN EACH KEY MARKET as special guests or openers to the remaining ‘big’ dates. Make these shows pilgrimages. Bands who are fans. Fans who are fans. Pull up the trucks for KISSworld!! 

4 > WRITE A NEW SONG FOR THE TOUR: If you’re not gonna put out a record because it’s ‘pointless’ fiscally, at least GIVE THE  FANS WHAT THEY WANT, and what we want is NEW KISS MUSIC!  Take a chance, take a stand, put a deafening rock coda on this fucker we call KISStory!? MAKE A VIDEO then GO TO RADIO. You get a hit somehow and wow, KISS saves RADIO? Kisstoric twist to history? One more great song! A single. I think the timing may work for the right tune, and I’m here to help with that as a Knight In Stanley & Simmons Service since ’76 with riffs to burn! Fuck, if not me, have a FAN CONTEST TO WRITE YOUR SWAN SONG, again breaking new ground with KISS 🙂 

Here are a few titles, gratis …. End Of The Road … My Way Is The High Way … Have My Cake (Eat It Too) … Amps, Ramps & Tramps ….KISS Off … You Can Bring The Roof Down ….We’re KISS Creatures ….Ace’s High ….Fly Like A Demon ….Insufficient Data Starchild …. You Created A Monster …..Drive Me Home …. One Nite At A Time ….. High Time For Rock & Roll ….Rock, Scissors, KISS ….Fine Time For Rock & Roll ….Kiss & Tell …. Damsels In Distress … (heck, Destroyer, Rock & Roll Over, Dressed To Kill?)….Mirror On The Ceiling …Love Is Ours …Stars & Stripes ….Down For Rock … Flashback City … Off With Your Head ….. I could go on.

Paul, Gene, Doc ….text me.

 

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KISS & Frehley still likely to share ‘End Of The Road’ spotlight?

A short KISStorian rant on the well-orchestrated soap opera that is KISS as they prepare for their ‘final farewell’ …forgive me though ‘cuz this clip is 2 weeks old so I’m clearly wrong on a few things but … I’m still hopeful on Ace being involved in some way … lots happened in couple weeks … the KISS Kruise re-union this week with Bruce and Ace … the tour date announcements stateside … the TV appearances … Ace’s new album … the chit-chat … so please cut me some slack (AWK!).

KID KING KISS (aka Jason Roberts)

How do you rank the studio albums by the original four?  I’d give them all 10’s!!

What got you hooked on KISS as a kid?   The first time I saw the cover of KISS Alive II with the blood all over Gene.
What was your favorite live KISS concert experience?  Revenge … my uncle Dennis bought us tickets, it was my first show … it was the UIC Pavillion …it was my favorite … just seeing all the adrenaline and the bombs and the pyrotechnics just made me feel like a kid again!
Who is your favorite member of the original four and why?  Has to be Gene because he just tells it like it is and he holds no punches even though his mouth gets him in trouble sometimes, but he’s got to learn too.
What’s your favorite 80’s KISS record and what are your favorite 5 KISS songs of the 80’s?  Asylum … “Uh All Nite”, “Let’s Put The X In Sex”, “Silver Spoon”, “Who Wants To Be Lonely” and “Heart of Chrome”.
You are a huge Elvis fan, what do you think KISS and Elvis have in common? They were all cool back in their day, he had his worst times with the movies and the Army and he had everything taken away and KISS had their day with non-make-up records and the disco era — they both had their non-cool phase.

What’s your review from the Chicago Open Air show this summer at Toyota Park?  I think they need to really quit — I had to say but they need to quit or do a one year reunion tour with everyone whose alive and just call it a day.

If you met someone who wasn’t (yet) a KISS fan, what 5 songs would you play them to try and enlist them in the KISS Army?   “Dr Love”, “Do You Love Me”, “Kissin’ Time”, “Love Gun” and “Deuce”.

You have a weekly feature on KISStorian in your Jason‘s Kisstoric Flashback — how do you decide each week what video to pick?  It’s not very hard, I just go with how I feel that week, whatever song I feel like throwing up there.

If somebody bought you the Gene Simmons Vault and he was gonna come and hang out for a bit, what would you wanna do and what would you talk with Gene about?  I would talk him about why is he letting KISS continue to play live and ask him to consider just making more studio records because that’s probably what the fans wanna see most at this point … I would just like to spend the day with him and see what he’s like.
You are asked to write Ace Frehley‘s set list for the next tour … what songs are essential for him to play live that he hasn’t been playing?  “Do Ya”, “Trouble Walkin'”, “Talk To Me”, “2,000 Man”, “White Room” and “Foxy & Free”.

What is your favorite moment in KISStory?  Gene’s appearance on the Mike Douglass Show or the Tom Snyder Show interview.

What would you call the next KISS studio album, please give us three working titles Jason? Maniacs, Tear It Up or Worlds Apart.

KISStorian ranks the original studio LPs

#1 > LOVE GUN – Eddie Kramers KISStoric sonic masterpiece, the punchy Love Gun boasts Ace’s first vocal, some of his best leads and the original line-up’s finest studio hour. Best snare sound found on any KISS studio recording save the non-live side 4 of Alive II, compliments again of Kramer.

#2 > ROCK & ROLL OVER – Meaty, beaty, big & bouncy, and again with Kramer at the wheel, Rock & Roll Over is a bombastic rock record that captures the band getting back to what they do best, rock. The debut EP should probably have this spot but the band is so much more developed by ’76’s RRO .

#3 > KISS Almost as pristine as “Christeen Sixteen” herself in sheer simplicity, KISS is loaded with more of the bands live staples than any other and, If you don’t like “Kissin’ Time”, you’re probably in the band because Ace’s solo on it is fierce, capturing on his frets the bands frustration in being forced to record the number.

#4 > DRESSED TO KILL – Shortish but tight, Dressed To Kill is a surprisingly crisp sounding album given it was practically self-produced …DTK features a notably improved Peter Criss and a number of now classic KISS rockers for the subsequent tour and Alive!. Turns out that giving the band more control, at least at this juncture, enabled them to produce something that represented them better than the debut and HTH, employing acoustic guitars to add texture for the first time. 

#5 > DETROYERThe bar and the band raised to the high ‘n mighty Bob Ezrin standard, Destroyer is KISS’s first successful foray into mainstream pop hot on the heels of the radio explosion of the Alive! version of “Rock & Roll All Nite”. Although many argue it’s KISS’s best studio effort because of their expanded scope with Ezrin producing, the overblown fascism that is “Great Expectations” gives us their first truly cringeworthy moment and a snapshot of the shape of things to come.

#6 > HOTTER THAN HELL – A delightfully dark ‘n dirgy, balls-to-the-wall album that includes a number of my all-time favorite KISS deep cuts, HTH is a major cornerstone of the KISS cannon. Were it not for its muddy production and dead drums, I could even put it above Destroyer because its definitive stuff. No place else would the sludge blues-rock of “Mainline” have made the cut nor  “Goin’ Blind” & ” Strange Ways” fit in so well with classics like “Parasite”, “Got to Chose” and the title cut.

(( KISStorians note: I have left off Dynasty & Unmasked because they, by & large, feature Anton Fig as ghost drummer. Had I included them, Unmasked would have come in last place, Dynasty somewhere in the middle ‘cuz its state-of-the-art KISS! ))

 

STAN PAULEY of PHAT KISS

How did your relationship with KISS begin? It all started when in was a kid digging through my older brothers record collection. I found Kiss Alive II and then knew my life would never be the same.

Can you explain why being a KISS fan is typically a life-long affliction? I have no idea why being a fan has lasted all my life. It would be impossible to pin down just one reason. But if I had to narrow it down I would say It’s their raw energy.

PHAT KISS return to LIVEWIRE on HALLOWEEN, do you have anything special planned for the KISS Army? Definitely have a few tricks up our sleeves for the LiveWire show!!

How did you show in Berwyn at Cigars & Stripes BBQ Lounge come about? A friend of ours works at a BBQ place and found out there was this Halloween BBQ fest in Berwyn on the Saturday the 28th there  …We love BBQ and Berwyn’s the home of the Son of Svengoolie. How could we refuse?!

Who is in PHAT KISSOur current line up is Stan Pauley guitar / vocals, Beans Simmons bass / vocals, A.C. Crisps drums / vocals.

You have a dual role in the band — you’re the ‘Starchild’ but you also play all the leads. Is there room in PHAT KISS for a ‘Spaceman’ at some point?  We are definitely open to finding an ‘Ace’, It’s very important to us to find someone that will fit with our chemistry.

What’s your live set up in terms of amps & guitars? Marshall stack, Gibson guitars, though I do use a Iceman here and there.

What are the staples of your set and which cuts seem to go over best consistently? We try to do a mix of the hits and deep cuts  As far as shows are concerned …”Love Gun”, “Strutter”, “Detroit Rock City” and “I Was Made For Loving You” always get a great crowd reaction!

Are there any songs you tried live that were soon to get nixed? We’ve done some 80’s stuff like “I love It Loud” and “Tears Are Falling” but they never seem to stay in the set. We are still exploring some of that, I think we’re probably gonna throw in “War Machine” here soon.

What’s your favorite KISS album?  Kiss Alive II will always hold the top spot. That open guitar riff on “I Stole Your Love” just rips!

What is the best KISS concert you ever attended?  I’ve seen them maybe 10 times but I would have to say the last one at Chicago Open Air festival this summer rocked. They have so much material it went on for over 2 hours and their stage show always gets progressively better. Absolutely nothing beats when Gene flies during “God Of Thunder”.

Do you have a KISS ‘happy space’ you would share with fellow KISStorians? I don’t know what you mean by ‘happy space’ but for some reason KISS always sounds best to me cranked up while driving.

Did Vinnie Vincent save KISS?  There is a case to be made for Vinnie, but ultimately it’s Paul and Gene who are the driving force of KISS.

If you were mod your Harley Davidson KISS style, what would you do to it in a perfect KISS world?  Such a weird question …The only way to go there if I had to would be some sort of demon bike with glowing eyes and so its fire from the tail pipe like some tricked out 70’s chopper.

What’s your favorite track by each original KISS member?
Paul – “Love Gun” ….Man it’s “Love Gun”!!!
Gene – “Cold Gin” …Just a nasty riff and all the hoopla that goes with it.
Ace – “Rocket Ride” …Just a driving song that keeps pushing the limits and some really clever guitar work. Also, it’s about getting a blow job.
Peter – “Black Diamond”.

Do you believe KISS will continue without Gene or Paul as stated for years by both original founders? Epic. KISS will live forever, if not the original band In some way shape or form but in bands like us willing to carry the torch of The KISS Army. 

Do you think they ever deputize / co-brand KISS cover bands worldwide? I’d like to think there is some kid out there right now learning the solo for “Detroit Rock City”. Man …I have no idea what they would do.

This is your chance for a shout out to the boys because they are reading this — what say yee? All I know is we’ll keep doing it as long as the crowd is into it. Take us on THE KISS KRUISE!!