Letter to the ‘Boyz’:
Guys, hey, sorry about this. You gotta be high if you think what’s being hailed by some as ‘Fake KISS 2019’ is going to sell tickets stateside. Enuffs been said already about why by everyone else in KISSdom, instead I offer here my heartfelt thoughts on possible solutions in hopes I can do something to make THE END OF THE ROAD less bumpy and something us KISS fans can be super amped about.
1 > HIRE BACKGROUND SINGERS / MUSICIANS FOR THE TOUR: Come clean, shoot us straight, like the Rolling Stones ultimately decided to do. You wanna sound great? Add some other musicians to help you deliver the goods! Give each tune the treatment it needs, try and deliver the record version. Add a tambourine!? Get a choir from each city to sing on “Great Expectations”? That kinda shit!
2 > HIRE ACE TO OPEN UP: Even if he’s said he won’t open, you and I know that’s bullshit so please figure out what it will take. Rather than giving him an option to ‘appear’ as all your press statements indicate you’ll do, notably the comment that (paraphrasing you Paul) ‘If they aren’t there, it’s not because they weren’t invited’. Gimme a break, not too cool. Just do it, for us, for KISStory!
3 > FIGURE OUT A FALL BACK POSITION: With the way ticket sales are going, I’ll be shocked if you guys aren’t already considering options here because, in my opinion, this should have been a BIG CITIES ONLY TOUR stateside with options for a 2nd (or 3rd date) in each market, at least initially anyway. Like how you would have done the DYNASTY TOUR with the benefit of hindsight, though I understand your hands may have been tied on that call this time around. Reality aside, in a perfect world, I’d seriously consider finding a way to CANCEL ANY SOFT TICKET SALES DATES WITH ‘VIP REFUNDS’ as it were and start adding THE PERFECT LOCAL ACT / LUMINARY IN EACH KEY MARKET as special guests or openers to the remaining ‘big’ dates. Make these shows pilgrimages. Bands who are fans. Fans who are fans. Pull up the trucks for KISSworld!!
4 > WRITE A NEW SONG FOR THE TOUR: If you’re not gonna put out a record because it’s ‘pointless’ fiscally, at least GIVE THE FANS WHAT THEY WANT, and what we want is NEW KISS MUSIC! Take a chance, take a stand, put a deafening rock coda on this fucker we call KISStory!? MAKE A VIDEO then GO TO RADIO. You get a hit somehow and wow, KISS saves RADIO? Kisstoric twist to history? One more great song! A single. I think the timing may work for the right tune, and I’m here to help with that as a Knight In Stanley & Simmons Service since ’76 with riffs to burn! Fuck, if not me, have a FAN CONTEST TO WRITE YOUR SWAN SONG, again breaking new ground with KISS 🙂
Here are a few titles, gratis …. End Of The Road … My Way Is The High Way … Have My Cake (Eat It Too) … Amps, Ramps & Tramps ….KISS Off … You Can Bring The Roof Down ….We’re KISS Creatures ….Ace’s High ….Fly Like A Demon ….Insufficient Data Starchild …. You Created A Monster …..Drive Me Home …. One Nite At A Time ….. High Time For Rock & Roll ….Rock, Scissors, KISS ….Fine Time For Rock & Roll ….Kiss & Tell …. Damsels In Distress … (heck, Destroyer, Rock & Roll Over, Dressed To Kill?)….Mirror On The Ceiling …Love Is Ours …Stars & Stripes ….Down For Rock … Flashback City … Off With Your Head ….. I could go on.
Paul, Gene, Doc ….text me.
A short KISStorian rant on the well-orchestrated soap opera that is KISS as they prepare for their ‘final farewell’ …forgive me though ‘cuz this clip is 2 weeks old so I’m clearly wrong on a few things but … I’m still hopeful on Ace being involved in some way … lots happened in couple weeks … the KISS Kruise re-union this week with Bruce and Ace … the tour date announcements stateside … the TV appearances … Ace’s new album … the chit-chat … so please cut me some slack (AWK!).
I was @ Buck Lake Ranch in Angola, IN this weekend helping my pals out with their ‘Blessing Of The Bikes’ festival and met this mom and her son whose name escapes me … but his middle name was truly ‘ACE”, on the birth certificate! He and his mom shared pix with me of them on stage with Gene and the ‘Gene Simmons Band’ (did I get that right Mr. Make Believe?) the other day in in Cleveland or Indy or … they were rocking out and the Demon was all smiles.
Anyway, young ‘ACE” is the son of the lead guitarist of the band MAGPIE who rocked that day. In fact, Bon Scot may have been revived briefly when he took lead vocals That’s dad in the back ground setting up for the gig. Hope the young Jendel candidate knows Dad is about as cool as the planet offers, only just ‘A Little Below The Angels’.
Funny how KISS still amazes even me sometimes …. young ‘ACE’ is in 5th grade, the same age I was when my buddy started singing “Larger Than Life” on the way out to the play ground one day and I said “what’s that?!?!?!” … the rest is personal KISStory … ah the sudden clarity over the weekend that I don’t know a world without KISS?!
How do you rank the studio albums by the original four? I’d give them all 10’s!!
What’s your review from the Chicago Open Air show this summer at Toyota Park? I think they need to really quit — I had to say but they need to quit or do a one year reunion tour with everyone whose alive and just call it a day.
You have a weekly feature on KISStorian in your Jason‘s Kisstoric Flashback — how do you decide each week what video to pick? It’s not very hard, I just go with how I feel that week, whatever song I feel like throwing up there.
What is your favorite moment in KISStory? Gene’s appearance on the Mike Douglass Show or the Tom Snyder Show interview.
What would you call the next KISS studio album, please give us three working titles Jason? Maniacs, Tear It Up or Worlds Apart.
#1 > LOVE GUN – Eddie Kramers KISStoric sonic masterpiece, the punchy Love Gun boasts Ace’s first vocal, some of his best leads and the original line-up’s finest studio hour. Best snare sound found on any KISS studio recording save the non-live side 4 of Alive II, compliments again of Kramer.
#2 > ROCK & ROLL OVER – Meaty, beaty, big & bouncy, and again with Kramer at the wheel, Rock & Roll Over is a bombastic rock record that captures the band getting back to what they do best, rock. The debut EP should probably have this spot but the band is so much more developed by ’76’s RRO .
#3 > KISS – Almost as pristine as “Christeen Sixteen” herself in sheer simplicity, KISS is loaded with more of the bands live staples than any other and, If you don’t like “Kissin’ Time”, you’re probably in the band because Ace’s solo on it is fierce, capturing on his frets the bands frustration in being forced to record the number.
#4 > DRESSED TO KILL – Shortish but tight, Dressed To Kill is a surprisingly crisp sounding album given it was practically self-produced …DTK features a notably improved Peter Criss and a number of now classic KISS rockers for the subsequent tour and Alive!. Turns out that giving the band more control, at least at this juncture, enabled them to produce something that represented them better than the debut and HTH, employing acoustic guitars to add texture for the first time.
#5 > DETROYER – The bar and the band raised to the high ‘n mighty Bob Ezrin standard, Destroyer is KISS’s first successful foray into mainstream pop hot on the heels of the radio explosion of the Alive! version of “Rock & Roll All Nite”. Although many argue it’s KISS’s best studio effort because of their expanded scope with Ezrin producing, the overblown fascism that is “Great Expectations” gives us their first truly cringeworthy moment and a snapshot of the shape of things to come.
#6 > HOTTER THAN HELL – A delightfully dark ‘n dirgy, balls-to-the-wall album that includes a number of my all-time favorite KISS deep cuts, HTH is a major cornerstone of the KISS cannon. Were it not for its muddy production and dead drums, I could even put it above Destroyer because its definitive stuff. No place else would the sludge blues-rock of “Mainline” have made the cut nor “Goin’ Blind” & ” Strange Ways” fit in so well with classics like “Parasite”, “Got to Chose” and the title cut.
(( KISStorians note: I have left off Dynasty & Unmasked because they, by & large, feature Anton Fig as ghost drummer. Had I included them, Unmasked would have come in last place, Dynasty somewhere in the middle ‘cuz its state-of-the-art KISS! ))
The best part about YouTube.com for this KISStorian is the fact that one can find diamonds in the rough almost weekly like the full live concert vids that seem to keep coming like the mail!
So many great moments on this recent find; a KISStoric Hot In The Shade Tour show from Oklahoma City that finds KISS at their most compelling sans make-up playing their best set list and sounding considerably less frantic than on the prior two tours with Kulick & Carr. By 1990, the ‘new’ KISS is a seasoned unit, hitting on all cylinders, reclaiming territory.
For a hand-held bootleg, the sound is surprisingly warm and not only is Bruce Kulick on fire ‘n tasty throughout, but Gene Simmons is smooth and singing better here than on most of the HITS tour stuff I’ve heard.
It also nicely illuminates the bands evolving groove with Eric Carr and their take on semi-shelved KISS classics like “Strutter”, “I Want You” & “I Stole Your Love” with ‘The Fox’ on drums.
More centrally though, this is our rock & roll party because it captures Paul Stanley at his very finest as a live performer, singer and one of a kind rock star. No one can move while playing guitar like Paul does. He really gives every moment a whole lotta love and can be downright artful at it, bringing a passion, joy and style to the stage rarely if ever achieved by less dedicated artists.